If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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