if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize