The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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