Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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