I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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