yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
