Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I want to fling myself into the sun
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
