I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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