we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
