Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?