sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
