Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
