I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
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He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
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