Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
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