I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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