it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
