yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
