Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Randomize
