we have officially lost it.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
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