You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize