I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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