Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
