I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
