You're so nebulous sometimes
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize