We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize