So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Your cock deserves a montage
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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