idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
