He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
