Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
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