Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
