It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
