im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
