jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
