I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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