it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Woke up backwards on a recliner
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
