perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I lost the right to judge tonight
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
