sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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