I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
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