meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Randomize