office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
