Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I'm having to shit out rocks
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
