I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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