just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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