Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I think im going to throw up on grandma
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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