bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
