wat bout pragnant strippers??
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
