if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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