now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
