OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
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