i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
