im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize