The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
