Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
