Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize