Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
